


SuperHero Texts

by SilverNight88



Series: Super Texts [1]
Category: Avengers (Comics), Marvel (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Other, Superhero Texts, Text Messages
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-16 20:51:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5840539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverNight88/pseuds/SilverNight88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark AKA Iron Man just wants to know who is coming to his party, but will he regret his invitations?<br/>Funny Texts between SuperHeroes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	SuperHero Texts

 

[Iron Man] Party at Avengers Mansion Tonight! It is time to celebrate the greatest thing that ever happened to mankind! BYOB! Please respond to invite but do not bring Spiderman… or tell Pepper.

[War Machine] Has accepted invitation

[Captain Marvel]  Has accepted invitation

[Captain America] Has accepted invitation

[Captain America] What is byob? Do I have to bring a friend called byob? Bob? Doesn’t Deadpool have a sidekick named Bob? Am I supposed to pick him up?

[Elektra] Has accepted invitation

[Cyclops] Has accepted invitation

[Black Widow] Oh my god! I’m on a mission infiltrating a Hydra base, Stop Texting! My phone keeps going off every two seconds!

[Emma Frost] Has accepted invitation

[Deadpool] Has accepted invitation

[Deadpool] Bob is more of a minion than a sidekick. DID YOU HEAR THAT BOB? You are now one of the cool kids, getting invited to great parties and stuff. Some of my awesomeness must have rubbed off on you! By the way I want my awesomeness back after the party,

[Bob, Agent of Hydra] Oh wow! Can I not come to the party? Sorry it’s just that Elektra scares me.

[Deadpool] Of course you are coming! Cap. is the designated driver since he can’t get drunk.

[Bob, Agent of Hydra] Has accepted invitation

[Captain America] Great, I will pick you up at 7:00. See you then.

[Hulk] Has accepted invitation

[Thor] Has accepted invitation

[Iron Man] Wait, what? No, Bob is defiantly NOT invited! BYOB means bring your own beer. How did you even get this message Deadpool? I told J.A.R.V.I.S. to send it out to my contacts.

[Bob, Agent of Hydra] Thank you.

[Bob, Agent of Hydra] Has Declined invitation

[Deadpool] Wait Bob! Don’t run away! :(

[J.A.R.V.I.S.] Well sir you told me to send the invitation to everyone, so I did.

[Wolverine] Has accepted invitation

[Hawkeye] Has accepted invitation

[Hawkeye] You know Natasha; you should have your phone on silent when you are sneaking around doing spy stuff.

[Black Widow] No shit Sherlock! I had it on vibrate but from the amount of texts it feels like a vibrator running at full power!

[Storm] Has accepted invitation

[Iron Man] What? Did you send it to Pepper?! Oh God, did you send it to Spiderman?!!!!

[J.A.R.V.I.S.] … I’m sorry sir, it seems my system is offline I must reboot it.

[Pepper Potts] TONY!!!

[Kitty Pryde] Has accepted invitation

[Iron Man] J.A.R.V.I.S.!!!

[Pepper Potts] Answer your damn phone Tony!

[Iron Man] Sorry Pepper, no personal calls while I am on a mission, talk to you later, love you!

[Pepper Potts] Has been blocked

[Nightcrawler] Has accepted invitation

[Polaris] Has accepted invitation

[Black Widow] STOP F*#@ING TEXTING!

[Hawkeye] Hey no need to get snippy with me! Wait… where exactly is your phone? I mean that suit you wear doesn’t seem like it has pockets…

[Deadpool] I know!!! I know where she keeps it!!!

[Black Widow] I will shove my foot so far up your ass that you will be choking on my boots Deadpool if you say another word!

[Wolverine] Why do we need to BYOB? You’re a billionaire; you should have lots of booze.

[Iron Man] Because last time you completely shredded my very expensive Wine cellar doors to get to my prized scotch so this time I took precautions I had a door made out of vibranium metal, so you can’t get in there.

[Quicksilver] Has accepted invitation

[Scarlet Witch] Has accepted invitation

[Wolverine] I could if I wanted to.

[Iron Man] You could not.

[Black Panther] Has accepted invitation

[Iron Fist] Has accepted invitation

[Wolverine] I could too.

[Ant-Man] Has accepted invitation

[Black Panther] I am afraid that Tony is right Logan; you cannot get in through the Vibranium doors.

[Rogue] Has accepted invitation

[Gambit] Has accepted invitation

[Wolverine] Fine, whatever. Your scotch tasted gross anyways, and nothing is better than Canadian beer.

[Nightcrawler] I must disagree with you Mein Fruend, German Lager is far better than your beer.

[Wolverine] You bring your booze and I will bring mine and we will see which one is better.

[Nightcrawler] Agreed.

[Jessica Jones] There’s booze? I’m defiantly coming.

[Jessica Jones] Has accepted invitation

[Luke Cage] Has accepted invitation

[Namor, The Sub-Marnier, King of Atlantis] Has accepted invitation

[Namor, The Sub-Marnier, King of Atlantis] I am very pleased to see that you have decided to throw me a party, for I truly am the greatest thing to happen to mankind, I will expect to see all of you groveling on your knees at my greatness.

[Daredevil] Has accepted invitation

[Iron Man] No Namor this party is not for you. It is my surprise birthday party to myself.

[Wasp] Has accepted invitation

[Ice Man] Has accepted invitation

 [Namor, The Sub-Marnier, King of Atlantis] If it is a surprise then why are you the one setting it up? Also you should change the name of this party to ‘worst thing that could ever happen to the world happened the day I was born’. If this party is not for me then I will not be attending, Poseidon knows that there is no one worth seeing at this wretched affair.

[Iron Man] Because the last time I let SOMEONE set up a surprise birthday party for me SOMEONE set it up in a super secret criminal organization that was pretending to be a nightclub and instead of partying my brains out I had to fight stupid villains all night long rather than have a great time at a REAL nightclub.

[Namor, The Sub-Marnier, King of Atlantis] Has Declined invitation

[Invisible Woman] Has accepted invitation

[Namor, The Sub-Marnier, King of Atlantis] Has accepted invitation

[Namor, The Sub-Marnier, King of Atlantis] Hello Susan

[Invisible Woman] I’m married.

[Mr. Fantastic] Has accepted invitation

[Human Torch] Has accepted invitation

[The Thing] Has accepted invitation

[Namor, The Sub-Marnier, King of Atlantis] Damn it.

[Namor, The Sub-Marnier, King of Atlantis] Has Declined invitation

[Captain America] For the last time Tony, I am sorry! I didn’t know that nightclub was a fake!!!

[Iron Man] Sorry what was that? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of my last party being sooooo lame.

[Captain America] SORRY! Did you get that through your stupid F*&@ING helmet?!

[Iron Man] Language Captain language.

[Captain America]  >:(

[Black Widow] SERIOUSLY?!?

[Professor Xavier] Has accepted invitation

[Hawkeye] Maybe if you came to the party you wouldn’t feel so stressed out.

[Black Widow] Has accepted invitation

[Black Widow] I accepted it!!!! There are you all happy?!

[Nick Fury] Agent Romanoff! Why are you texting during a mission?!

[Black Widow] UARRRGHHH!!!! Screw all of you.

[Magneto] Has accepted invitation

[Magneto] It will be good to spend some time with my children, seeing as none of them can spare a moment for their Father.

[Quicksilver] Has Declined invitation

[Scarlet Witch] Has Declined invitation

[Polaris] Has Declined invitation

[Professor Xavier] Perhaps abandoning them when they were younger was a bad move

[Magneto] Go to Hell Charles

[Loki] Has accepted invitation

[Iron Man] NO SUPERVILLAINS!

[Loki] Has Declined invitation

[Magneto] Has Declined invitation

 [Beast] Has accepted invitation

[Quicksilver] Has accepted invitation

[Scarlet Witch] Has accepted invitation

[Polaris] Has accepted invitation

[Quicksilver] That was close, too close. We have to be faster next time. There is no way I am having another, ‘You children are all disappointments to me and what exactly are you doing with your lives’ dinner again.

[Scarlet Witch] We can’t avoid him forever you know

[Polaris] Yes we can, I have hired a bunch of people to keep tabs on him so we know where he is, that way we can avoid him forever.

[Scarlet Witch] He is going to figure it out eventually and then we will be in for another ‘Why can’t you all be better children’ talk.

[Quicksilver] Ugh not that again, I swear I’m heading straight to the Savage Land if that happens, getting chased and eaten by prehistoric creatures is a way better fate.

[Polaris] Take me with you.

[Scarlet Witch] No need to be such a drama king Pietro.

[Quicksilver] Don’t tell me that the thought hasn’t crossed your mind Wanda

[Scarlet Witch] Of course it has but we should just run to another dimension instead of the Savage Land, I know a great place where we can relax in peace.

[Doctor Strange] Has accepted invitation

[Polaris] Ok then, anything is better than another Family Dinner with the Master of Magnetism.

[Quicksilver] I agree Lorna

[She-Hulk] Has accepted invitation

[Ice Man] Alright!  So many sexy ladies, I am so going to score tonight! Is Elektra available? I like Dangerous women.

[The Vision] Has accepted invitation

[Human Torch] Yeah but Daredevil is going to be there so you won’t have much of a chance.

[Ice Man] Pshhh, Daredevil, that dude is so lame. I could ice him and flirt with his lady without him even knowing.

[Human Torch] Dude he gets these messages too, you know this is a group text!

[Squirrel Girl] Has accepted invitation

[Ice Man] The man is blind, he can’t read what I am texting, and I am too afraid to say it where he will be around since his hearing is like really really good.

[Daredevil] You do know that there is technology that will speak these texts out loud to me right? I can hear everything you are saying right now.

[Human Torch] DUUUDDDEEE you are soooo busted!

[Ice Man]  :(

[Bruce Banner] Has accepted invitation

[Iron Man] Bro, Hulk already accepted for you

[Bruce Banner] Oh sorry, I just wanted to make sure that I replied to the invite. Umm, Tony?

[Iron Man] Yeah Bruce?

[Bruce Banner] Do you think you can trace my phone to find out where I am? I think I am in a forest somewhere, there is snow and it’s really really cold. Also can you pick me up? And maybe bring me some warm clothes? Any kind of clothes? I’m really cold.

[Iron Man] *Sigh* Sure thing buddy, hang tight be there soon.

[Pepper Potts] TONY!

[Iron Man] ARRGH Pepper, how did you…

[Pepper Potts] J.A.R.V.I.S. unblocked me. I will not have you-

[Pepper Potts] Has been blocked

[Squirrel Girl] Out of curiosity Tony, Why don’t you want Spider-Man there?

[Iron Man] Because once you invite him somewhere he never leaves. Last time he stayed at my house for a whole week eating all of my food after the Halloween Party. Also one of his Arch enemies always finds out where he is and then crashes the party. Remember the New Year’s Party?

[Squirrel Girl] oh yeah, Did you ever get the web out of your really expensive carpet?

[Iron Man] Never, the carpet cleaners I hired cried for three hours since they couldn’t clean it, and their motto is ‘We can clean anything or we pay you for the price of your carpet’ let’s just they that cleaner is no longer in business.

[Squirrel Girl] wow

[Iron Man] OK PEOPLE! Time to wrap this up I need to put in the order for the caterer and pick up Bruce from the wilds of Canada. See you all at the party! Don’t forget gifts!!!!

[Hawkeye] Ok see you there

[Wasp] Can’t wait to party!!!

 [Captain America] Over and out

[Thor] I shall bring the finest mead Asgard has to offer.

[Black Widow] Great **now** you all stop texting?! I just had my cover blown and had to escape without learning anything!    >:(

[Bruce Banner] Hurry Tony, I think that I am being chased by some really angry moose… Ok I climbed a tree, moose can’t climb right?

[Wolverine] These are not your average moose; they are Canadian moose, Watch out.

[Iron Man] Hang tight buddy, almost there. Don’t Hulk out!

[Namor, The Sub-Marnier, King of Atlantis] Has accepted invitation

[Namor, The Sub-Marnier, King of Atlantis] Very well peasants, I will come to your small and insignificant party after all. There will at least be a pool there right?

[Bruce Banner] It’s ok I’m more scared than angry… Oh my god! They found me! TONY! HELP!

 [Spider-Man] Has accepted invitation

[Spider-Man] Hey sorry for the late reply! I was busy fighting one of my many enemies, but Green Goblin escaped after swearing he will hunt me down and take his revenge; it’s ok though I will find him later. What did I miss? Deadpool told me about the party, but I’m too young to buy beer. Don’t worry Tony I will defiantly be there. Will there be food?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello to everyone who is reading this, I tried to get as many heroes as I could in this one. I hope you enjoyed SuperHero Texts, watch for my newest work coming soon... SuperVillain Texts. If you want to mention a villain you want me to include in please let me know and I will try to fit everyone I can in. Comments and Kudos will be appreciated! :)


End file.
